Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Judge the Book by Its Cover #1

I think that covers are important. A cool cover leads a prospective reader to assume that the product is cool as well. I probably never would have started listening to the great Finnish band Circle were it not for the sweet art on Katapult and Sunrise. These covers are shiny and colorful and immediately attract the eye. They argue in This Is Spinal Tap that album art is meaningless, that the Beatles' White Album is great and sold an assload despite the negligible design presence. Yeah, but the Beatles are effin' lame! And Tap rules! The cover for Smell the Glove is a googleplex times better than that of any Beatles record. Whatever! Of course, Tap then go on to release an all-black record sleeve, which is also super-sweet and better than all sorts of other things. Judging the proverbial book by its cover is a worthy undertaking, and one that is shat upon far too frequently. Want to disregard the cover? Have fun sleeping with ugly people forever OUCHkindamean.

Case #1:

Would you listen to this band based on this picture? I'd say OF COURSE NOT. This image is horrible! Who wants this? Is this band called Central Casting for a Christian High School Dramedy? Now touring with The Background Artists! God, that sky blue V-neck absolutely kills me. This whole affair has that weird smarmy quality that's so prevalent in emo bands. Double ESPECIALLY the two fellows at the back. What's that, Tattooed Bangs Guy, you have a plethora of nicknames for your genitalia? Charmazing! Do String Necklace Guy and Blond Shell Necklace Guy ever eye-brawl over who is less threatening? The lady seems cool, though. I feel bad that she has to put up with the constant playing of "old-school Saves" and """""ironic"""" Southern crunk on their bus or plane. Wait, it's bus, though I bet it will be plane soon. Yet I am thankful for this picture. It lets me know that I never need to listen to this band. Consider this book judged!

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